Jack's Return
by elfchicks
Summary: Captain Jack Sparrow attends Will and Elizabeth's wedding. Complete.
1. Default Chapter

**Jack's Return **

_Aranel; 2004 _

Chapter I

Elizabeth Swann surveyed the sleeping figure sprawled on his stomach in the hay of the stable. He appeared to be of an uncultured sort; his clothes and hair were ragged, and he wore a few beads and small medallions on a crimson scarf tied about his head. She thought he looked familiar, but couldn't be certain. A nocturnal instinct roused the man and he stirred from his repose and turned over, squinting up at Elizabeth groggily.

She recognized him at once. "Jack!" she gasped, laughing suddenly. 

"By the code," said Jack, yawning. He quickly donned his famous tri-cornered hat. "If it isn't Elizabeth darling! Fancy dress. The whelp's been takin' care of you, I see." 

"What are you doing here, Jack?" said Elizabeth, unable to contain her surprise. "I would have thought that since the last time—" 

"Well," began the swashbuckling pirate, holding up a finger to stop her, "I thought I'd like to visit me old mate, your fiancé that is. And what could be a more opportune and appropriate moment than his wedding, aye? And things were getting right nasty on the _Pearl_, what with that creep losing his eye every fifteen seconds and all. I needed a…diversion." 

"You're on time," said Elizabeth. "The wedding's tonight." She watched Jack as he staggered to his feet and briskly whisked the straw off his mud-encrusted clothes. "Why did you sleep in the stable? It isn't as if we wouldn't have let you in if you'd knocked." 

"Ah, that's alright," said Jack, still swiping at his clothes. "I didn't want to bother you and the whelp— I mean _Will_. Besides, I'd rather taken a liking to the donkey. Fantastic company!" 

"You took a great risk in coming," pointed out Elizabeth. She was clearly astonished at Jack's incongruent behavior: going so much out of his way (and risking his neck) to attend a wedding, of all things. "You mustn't be seen." 

"Right you are, darling," said Jack, gesturing with an index finger, as he often did. "And on that note, where's your fiancé?"

* * *

"Will! Will!" exulted Elizabeth, fairly flying through the shop door, her slender hands grasping her long gown to prevent herself from tripping as she ran. "Will, guess who is here!" 

Will looked up from the ornate rapier he had been polishing. "Who?" he guessed playfully. "The Pope from Rome?" 

"Even better," said Jack, entering the doorway, "though not so good at rattling off the benediction or sprinkling holy water. Captain Jack Sparrow, at your service," he said with a bow and a flourish. 

Will stood up quickly from his stool and set the sword on the cluttered workbench, grunting in amusement. "Why, you old scoundrel," he said, a look of mingled wonder and happiness in his deep brown eyes. "What are you doing here?" He hurriedly stepped forward and pulled Jack inside, shutting the door. "If you're caught—. I don't want to have to plan another elaborate rescue attempt. Once was enough." 

"In answer to your first question," said Jack, lightly pushing Will's hand from his wrist and taking a step back, "I came for your wedding. Oh, and I resent the part about me being a scoundrel. I prefer 'distinguished pirate captain'. Give it some importance!" 

"That's uncommonly kind of you to attend our wedding," said Will, quite pleased, but trying to hide it. 

"What?" said Jack, feigning shock. "Don't predict me. Like I said once before (slightly modified, but still matchlessly effective): I'm unpredictable. And you can always trust an unpredictable man to be unpredictable. Predictably, it's the predictable ones you've got to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly…unpredictable." Quick as a flash, he reached down and pulled the thick woolen rug out from under Will, who subsequently fell backward on his rear. Elizabeth put her hand to her mouth, trying to stifle a giggle. Jack continued. "Like that. Tisk, tisk… You should have seen that coming. Honestly, dear William." 

Will laughed good-naturedly and got to his feet, rubbing his sore backside. "I see. Well then, thank-you. I am happy to be proven wrong. And yes, you are _very _unpredictable." 

"Right, so don't try to predict me." He dropped the rug and tried to smooth it out with his boot. It wouldn't smooth out that easily. "Ahhh… bloody." He gave up. "So… why are we just standing here? We ought to be celebrating your wedding!" 

"All right," said Will. "Any suggestions?" 

"Just the thing, mate," said Jack. "Break out the rum!" 

"I'm sorry, Jack," apologized Will. "I _had_ rum, but Elizabeth—" 

"—disposed of it, I know," finished Jack, crestfallen. He mimicked Elizabeth's voice. " 'It's a vile drink, which turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels!' " 

Will glanced at Elizabeth strangely. 

Jack continued. "I do hope, dear William, that you realize you are being joined in holy matrimony with Rum Public Enemy No. 1. It's bloody unfortunate really." 

* * *

"How are we going to get him into the wedding unnoticed?" Elizabeth pondered to Will with a whisper. 

Jack slept soundly against the shop wall, having just consumed two entire bottles of old brandy that Will's employer had donated to a nearby dusty shelf. After making a toast to Will and his fiancée, Jack had, without stopping, gulped down an entire bottle of brandy, claiming it lacking compared to rum, yet still palatable. After this, he downed the other bottle and fell into a drunken repose, leaning against the wall. 

"He could wear a disguise," suggested Will. 

Elizabeth stared at him, thinking. "Hmmm… The only thing that would work would be… Yes, it's possible. He might go as a friend of yours from somewhere, kind of 'upper-crust,' " said Elizabeth, her eyes wandering to the snoring pirate. "All the fancy frills and curls would definitely weaken recognition possibilities." 

"Unless the Commodore is in attendance," Will pointed out. "He's not one to fall for disguises." 

"Right," said Elizabeth. "We'll just have to hope that he's not. I know he _was _invited, but I'd think he'd still be feeling snubbed about his…suit of marriage with me that went cold. He probably won't come." 

"Let's hope not, for Jack's sake. Elizabeth, do you think we should risk it?" Will was having second thoughts. He certainly didn't want Jack in any danger on their account. But he knew that Jack had obviously made up his mind to attend, so who was he to interfere? 

"Alright, Will," Elizabeth said, pointing at Jack, "imagine him in one of my father's wigs, a frilled waistcoat, glasses, and no eye-paint. I can get what we need from my father before the wedding tonight. How about that?" 

"Worth a try," said Will. "You best go now. The wedding is in two hours." 

Elizabeth got up and tip-toed to the oaken door, put a hand on the latch, and looked back. 

Will knelt down beside Jack and met eyes with Elizabeth. He smiled and looked down again at the pirate. "I hadn't chosen a best man," he mused. "But now, I think I've found one." 

"That's fine with me," responded Elizabeth, turning the door latch. "As long as he isn't caught and spoils the wedding." 

Will laughed. "Spoiling the wedding would be the least of my worries. As long as we got to 'you may kiss the bride' beforehand." 

* * *

"So, what's happenin', Will ol' mate?" asked Jack with slurred speech. "Didn't miss anything exciting while I was asleep, did I?" 

Will shook his head "no." 

Jack leisurely pulled himself to his feet, using the wall for support. As he stepped away from it, he lost his balance and nearly sprawled headlong, but righted himself in time. "Bloody whiskey gives a good kick," he stated, swaying groggily. 

"It was brandy," corrected Will, setting a finished sword on a low wooden stanchion by the worktable. 

"Where's Miss Swan gotten to?" asked Jack, regaining some sense of location. Will told him where she had gone. "I have to wear a disguise?" questioned Jack skeptically. "Ooo, I love disguises! Who do I get to be?" 

"A wealthy relative of mine from England," replied Will, slightly amused. 

"Don't mind the 'wealthy' part, but a _relative _of yours?" Jack questioned. "Me related to the whelp? Implausible and extremely disturbing. But, as it is your wedding night, let's go with that, shall we? Later, we can just pretend it never happened." 

Will nodded. "Alright. Fair is fair. But I have another request. Would you object to being my best man?" 

"Me the whelp's relative _and _best man?" said Jack. "Isn't that going a bit far? Speaking realistically and with little to no jocularity? However, just for the implicit humor of the situation, I may have to take you up on that ravishing offer, dear William, as long as me crew never hears a whisper of it." 

"It's not as if it's _you_," said Will. "It's your pseudonym and alternate personality for the night. So how about it?" 

"Alright, William," said Jack, collapsing back on the straw and leaning against the wall, fingers intertwined behind his head. "I shall be your best man. Only because I'd really hate to see you have to pay somebody else to do it. Only joking." He absently hummed the wedding march. "Why is no one coming in this shop?" he asked finally. "You're open aren't you?" 

"The shop is closed today on account of our wedding," answered Will, "which reminds me, Elizabeth should return soon with your get-up or we will miss _our wedding_." 

"Right you are, Will," said Jack. "And not to worry. I'll be the best illustrious pirate captain you could ever desire for a best man. And you only get one, you know. Unless, of course, you divorce and remarry several times. If that were, in fact, the case, you could theoretically have over fifty best men in your lifetime, assuming that the ladies didn't get wise to you after your twenty-fifth divorce and realize it was all a sham to acquire as many best men as possible in your lifetime, a questionable goal, in which case—" 

"I understand," Will interrupted, smiling in wonder. "Don't worry; I have faith in you. But you may want to practice your acting for the part. That way, it won't be so easy to identify you." 

"What?" asked Jack, surprised. "I have to act? Well, that's all very well and good… but acting isn't exactly my forte." 

"Just do your best, Jack," sighed Will. "Try to behave stuffy and non-pirate-like. Act low-key. Alright?" All this sitting about was making him rather sleepy. He wondered if there were time for a quick nap before they departed for the ceremony. He yawned discreetly. 

"See, that— that—," said Jack, yawning in reply. "Mr. Turner, now you've really done it. And I just woke from… Ah, blast. I give up." He closed his eyes. "Wake me when your very resourceful fiancée returns." 

* * *

Presently, Elizabeth arrived, bringing several items of clothing, including a silver wig, draped over her arms. "Sorry about the wait," she said. "You have no idea what I've been through to get all these things! It was easy enough to get the clothes; I just asked my father for them. He wanted to know why, so I said they were for a visiting friend of yours (true enough). The wig was more difficult. He has only two: The one he wears and an extra. I took the extra and hid it under the clothes. Hopefully, he will not recognize it." 

Jack sleepily opened a painted eyelid. "Oh, Miss Swann," he said, "you're finally back. I was getting concerned. Need to keep you under wraps." He yawned prodigiously and somehow made it to his feet. 

* * *

"It's easy!" Elizabeth explained to a dubious Captain Jack Sparrow. "You simply put these stockings on like they were boots, and then you put on the shoes." 

Jack doubtfully sat down and deliberately proceeded to don the stockings. "Bloody fancy. Worn by a bigwig," he grumbled. Soon, he was completely dressed in the extravagant clothes borrowed from Governor Swann. He peered abashedly down at his reflection in the donkey's water barrel. "I look like a blasted cream puff," he said. "Will, can't I wear some of yours? This is degrading and slightly painful." 

"You look fine," consoled Will, nearly unnoticeably stifling a chuckle. "It helps make your disguise even better; Captain Jack Sparrow would _never _dream of wearing something like that." 

"Then what is he doing in this bloody outfit, I'd like to know?" Jack quipped, but was agreeable. "Just as long as none of my crew sees me like this. First they would laugh. Then they would mutiny. And then I would find myself, once again, the proud captain of a dinghy." 

"Now for the face," broke in Elizabeth. "We'll need to wash off your eye paint." She produced a rag and dipped it into the donkey water trough. 

"Me _eyes_, Elizabeth," said Jack, not much for washing. 

"We have to wash your entire face," she said. 

Jack looked vexed. 

"It's alright," said Elizabeth. "You can get as dirty as you like after the wedding." 

Jack's face visibly brightened at the thought of escaping from the floury clothes. He felt like an idiot (and who could blame him?). 

Elizabeth somehow managed to stuff Jack's entire long, coarse mane underneath the silver wig. Now he felt even more foolish. Elizabeth was going wild, primping and preening and touching his face up with powder. The pirate didn't know how much longer he could stand it. At long last, she pronounced that he was ready. 

"And not a moment too soon," said Will, buttoning his own best shirt. "We're expected at the wedding in twenty minutes." 

"I am _definitely_ hoping that I'm not discovered," said Jack. "I wouldn't want to be hanged in this ridiculous outfit." 

Will nearly rolled his eyes. "You will not be discovered," he said. "That disguise is so good,_ I_ can hardly tell it's you." 


	2. Two

_Two _

"What about your dress, Miss Swann?" said Jack. "Me thought that you'd be dressin' all upmarket as well."

"No," sighed Elizabeth. "I will wear my best dress and that is all. I don't want to wear an expensive wedding dress."

"We had best be going," urged Will, shooing Elizabeth and Jack to the door.

"Oh," he continued, "and one more thing. Jack, you will have to go by another name. Hmm…."

"How about Captain Higgins, a retired British naval officer?" suggested Jack.

"Uh, no," said Will, opening the latch. "What about Austin Miles, the wealthy merchant, visiting from London?"

"I want a name that begins with 'captain'," stated Jack.

"I don't think anyone would buy it," put in Elizabeth as they stepped out into the street. "They would wonder what ship you had served on, and such. This could lead to revealing questions. Best go with Austin Miles."

"Blast," grumbled Jack. He affected his best proper English accent. "My name is Austin Miles. I'm a blasted merchant sailor all the bloody way from London. I'm also very wealthy. Even richer than that famous pirate, Captain Jack Sparrow—"

Elizabeth gave him the look.

"A thousand pardons, Miss Swann," said Jack. "I'll shut me big mouth," he added with a whisper, "before it gets me hanged."

Will smiled good-naturedly. Jack was trying to act cultured, but having an awful time of it. He continued to practice quietly as the threesome strolled the busy street.

"Oh!" said Elizabeth, stopping suddenly. "I'd almost forgotten." She pulled out a pair of glasses. "I've had these lenses in my dress where I put them when I borrowed them from the butler. He will probably wonder where they've gotten to, but I'll return them later."

Jack looked over them with scrutiny. "Do I have to?" he asked. "I already look like an old bigwig—excuse me, a distinguished gentleman."

"Yes," said Elizabeth. "I didn't concoct an elaborate plan to lure the butler away from his lenses for nothing."

Jack put them on. "How do I look?" he asked. "Nice?"

"They're up-side down," Elizabeth pointed out.

Will noticed they were getting looks from some of the passer-bys so he urged the others on. "You look fine, Jack," he said. "But we must keep going. I don't want to burst in at the last probable moment. It's not very courteous."

"Where is this wedding, anyway?" inquired Jack as they went.

"It will be held in the small chapel by the bay," replied Will. "It's not far from here. Governor Swann suggested that we hold it in the larger church a ways inland, but we decided to keep it small."

The town was placid that evening, except for a few shopkeepers just closing up for the day and some other common people mulling about on the street. The sun wasn't visible at that moment. It was hovering over the sea to their right, and only a faint golden glow was seen above the top of the harbor. The weather was temperate, the wind was warm, the scent in the air, lovely as ever. Not at all like some other port cities in which the air stank of fish.

Jack's eyes wandered back and forth. "Funny," he commented, "I don't think I've ever been through here when I wasn't bein' run after by bloody Norrington's guards. It's a bizarre feeling."

Will noticed the pleased look of his features and wandered if Jack was regretting being a pirate, having to be hunted everywhere he went. He decided against this idea. Jack loved being a scallywag too much to ever regret it. Perhaps he was simply pondering the "what if's and the why for's".

At length, they came to the small archaic building and Will bid Jack pause. "Before we go in," he whispered just loud enough so that both could hear, "I need to remind you not to forget yourself, Jack. Don't forget, your name is Austin Miles. Not Captain Jack Sparrow."

"It is?" asked Jack.

"Please," said Will, "be serious. I don't want them to find out who you really are. And mind that you don't go around Commodore Norrington. He can smell a disguise a mile away. Just keep in character. Pretend you are performing in the Royal British Theatre and if the performance is bad, you die. I'm not trying to be pessimistic, I'm certain you'll do well. I just don't want you to get caught."

"I shall do the best in my power to see that that does not occur," said Austin Miles.

"Very good," said Will, impressed. The change in voice that Jack had effected was exemplary. Will could scarcely tell that it was the same person.

"Good voice work," Will complemented as Jack turned to leave. "Oh, Austin Miles," called Will, lowering his voice to a slight whisper. "Try not to do that thing you do with your hands."

Jack turned and gave him a 'What thing I do with my hands'? look.

"And when you are speaking with someone," continued Will, "please don't invade their space. I mean, don't let your face get closer than three inches from theirs. Understand?" Jack nodded, giving himself away with his identifying grin.

The three made their way past a few wedding-goers who were just arriving and entered the building. To both Will and Elizabeth's surprise, the place was packed. There wasn't a seat open.

"Who are all these people?" Will whispered discreetly in Elizabeth's ear as they made their way past the staring congregation.

"I don't know," replied Elizabeth. "My father must have invited them." Will scarcely recognized anyone. A few faces seemed familiar. He had seen them around Port Royal at some point in the past. The blacksmith cringed at feeling all the unfamiliar eyes on him. He could sense that Jack was uneasy about it as well. He searched the faces…ah, at last someone he knew. It was Commodore Norrington. The Commodore smiled at Elizabeth and nodded encouragingly at Will. There were two soldiers in full uniform sitting beside him, their expressions solemn. They knew little mirth.

This wasn't at all what Will had expected. He had thought that this wedding would be casual, but all of these important people were quickly squelching that mood. The three made it past the uncomfortable silence and up to the front where a minister was waiting patiently. He was carrying a small black book in which he had sermon notes and such. He smiled welcomingly and indicated that the pair should stand before him. Jack seemed out of place for a moment, but Will quickly grasped his arm and pulled him behind him.

"This is my best man," said Will, hoping that Jack wouldn't perform his little feminine wave. He didn't. Will inwardly breathed a sigh of relief and smiled in spite of himself.


	3. Three

_Three _

Will tenderly grasped both of Elizabeth's hands in his own and gazed deeply into her eyes. He had nearly forgotten about Jack as the ceremony had progressed, but he didn't need to worry anyway. Jack was standing stock-still, trying not to move at all for fear of giving himself away. Commodore Norrington's eyes were uncomfortably on him, he had noticed, as if the man thought he looked familiar, but wasn't certain where he had seen him before. Jack kept his own eyes downwards, lest a full contact of eyes should give the final spark of recognition. The pirate hoped that "you may kiss the bride" was soon. Things would not go well for him if he were revealed. Finally, the reverend said the line that Jack was so looking forward to, and Will and Elizabeth shared a passionate kiss. Jack couldn't help but note the look of almost jealousness that pervaded Norrington's features. However, the Commodore was still a noble man in deed, and would honor Elizabeth's choice of men.

Will and Elizabeth smiled joyfully. The light of the candles danced in their eyes as they held each other's hands lovingly. They turned to the congregation. The crowd of 'stuffy' men and women surprised Will by bursting into energetic applause and cheers.

"I present to you Mr. and Mrs. William Turner," proclaimed the reverend jovially.

After the applause died down, the crowd rose to their feet and surged forward to congratulate the newlyweds. There was a considerable amount of hand shaking and shoulder clapping, as Will and Elizabeth meandered through the crowd. Jack shrank furtively into the corner, hoping he wouldn't be noticed. And it was then that the absolute worst thing happened. Commodore Norrington emerged from the crowd and approached Jack. He was smiling, much to the pirate's surprise, and he extended his hand to Jack.

"Pleasure to meet you, Mr.?" said the Commodore searchingly. Jack was forced to meet eyes, though he did so reluctantly. He took James Norrington's hand and shook it evasively, endeavoring to do a straightforward handshake, a skill in which he was not so practiced. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to pull it off so well.

"Mr. Miles, Austin Miles," said Jack finally. He gulped as he realized that he had started out in his normal voice and gradually morphed into his feigned voice. The Commodore didn't seem to notice.

"I just wanted to meet Mr. Turner's best man," said Norrington. "It was delightful—" – he turned to leave – "—Mr. Sparrow," he whispered over his shoulder.

Jack blinked in surprise. Apparently, his disguise hadn't fooled the discerning Norrington. Thankfully, it appeared the man was going to let him off the hook…again.

"Pleasure meeting you also," offered Jack. The Commodore nodded and vanished into the crowd.

Gradually, the people dissipated, leaving Governor Swann and a few other close relations. Will and Elizabeth ambled back over to Jack and sighed in relief.

"Everything went well?" asked Will.

Jack nodded and broke into his revealing grin. "Congratulations on your wedding!" he said. Then he lowered his voice. "Can I get out of this blasted costume now?"

"Yes," answered Will. "We'll get that taken care of as soon as possible."

After the lengthy congratulating from Governor Swann, who had squinted quizzically at Jack's wig as if he recognized it, but said nothing, the three made their way down the street back to the shop. Jack related his meeting with Commodore Norrington to the couple, and Will shook his head. There was a new admiration for the Commodore in his eyes. He squeezed Elizabeth's hand.

"Well," he sighed as they went, "finally married. I never thought I would see the day. From just about the moment we met…I…I fell in love with you. I couldn't help myself. Something in your eyes took me in. Nevertheless, I would by no means have admitted it to you…at least—not with your father around. I couldn't bear to let you go to the Commodore, but I wanted what was best for you. And I'm glad you understood that I wanted you."

"I'm glad as well," offered Elizabeth. "As good a man as the Commodore is, I would rather be with you any day."

When they reached the blacksmith shop, Jack was almost begging to take the costume off. He could barely wait.

"All right, all right," laughed Elizabeth.

After about a half an hour, Jack was back in his own attire and grinning from ear to ear. Elizabeth smiled and stood back so Will could see. Will laughed softly as he clapped. Jack bowed and flourished, delighted to be himself again.

The telltale chirping of crickets announced that the evening had arrived, an ideal time for Jack to depart.

"So…," said Will. "How will you rendezvous with your shipmates?"

Jack looked up. "I've a small boat down by the bay. It's pretty concealed so I won't be seen. Once I'm there, I'll row out to where my ship is waiting; at least, that's where they should be waiting if they've got heads on their shoulders."

"That's good," said Elizabeth.

"I best be off," said Jack.

"We want to thank you so much for coming to our wedding," said Will, rising to his feet. "It meant more to me than you know. And," he added, "it was quite fun."

Jack gave a chuckle and nodded. "Anytime, mate," he said, clapping Will's shoulder. "Kind of reminds me of my wedding."

Both Will and Elizabeth looked up in surprise. Jack grinned.

"Only jesting," he laughed. "But if I ever do have a wedding, I'll look you up. Now, I take my leave." He tipped his hat and ambled out the door in his familiar stride.

Will shook his head in wonder. "And he's gone again. But I don't think we've seen the last of the indestructible Captain Jack Sparrow."

Elizabeth nodded and slowly stood up, taking his hands. Then, Will leaned down and they kissed tenderly, even as the waning sunlight spilled through the slated windows, outlining the features of the two figures, and slowly dying on the floor.

**Finis **


End file.
